Wednesday, 3 January 2018

Music is more fun when you make stuff up.

Fancy being a so called Classical musician and spending your life playing other people's music.

I guess that, if you choose to play an instrument like the oboe, it's your own damn fault.
While I'm on the topic, why would anyone want to become a tympanist?

Imagine that you're at a party and the old guitar comes out and a sing along develops. 
Someone calls out, "Brian, go get your tympany!"
Straight away there are a few problems here:
  • What are the odds of your tympany being in the back of your car?
  • Do you really want to lug them into a party situation where someone is bound to put his bottle of beer on one of your drums?
  • Tympany are not going to work on Brown Eyed Girl.
  • Someone is probably going to tell you to shut up.
  • Anyway, let's be honest, no one is going to call out, "Brian, go get your tympany!"
Here's another scenario. You turn up at a jam - you have your viola and you're all dressed up in your penguin suit - but then you realise there is no music! You're going to have to make it up.

Tough shit fella!

I hear Classical musicians moaning that the audience for Classical concerts is dying off and some orchestras are struggling. Well, this is a sign from Angry Jesus that these musicians should start playing different stuff. Shorter pieces that don't go on for bloody hours.


  1. Akish - I hate to say it but I agree with just about everything you say.
    My old mate The Wine Guy does too as his views re the wine industry and all the poseurs who overcharge and pontificate have resonance with your dissatisfactions of the arts and music industries.
    What a pity that you've got yourself mixed up with Richard's lot. A Trinity for fucks sake! Didn't you see how badly that worked out for Robert's lot?

    Anyway, if you are looking for an incorporation into a turgid, valid and succesful blogging community THE CURMUDGEONS INC. would be happy to 'have a chat'.

  2. Fuck off Curmudgeon. Go drink your fancy wine. Do you taste any gooseberry?

    Akish T.P.

  3. Gooseberry?
    No, I just detect some bile and bitterness.